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4 Steps to Tell Jealousy “Buh Bye!”

Jealousy. It is one of the WORST feelings to feel, at least for me.

Do you feel that way too?

Most of us did not grow up in a family that was self-aware, so when you first come to realize you are jealous, you don’t know what to do with it! It can either spin you into a rip-roaring downward spiral in which you harbor the emotion inside yourself, damning each one of your personal characteristics and sending yourself into silence and deep depression. Sometimes you stuff the darn thing away to try to forget it, but only to find it comes back out in an argument via word-vomit (I know, horrible visual on that one!). Or, and in my very recent case, it can send you floating upward and feeling untethered by negativity.

Say, what?!

Yup – the latest situation was a game changer for me.

You see, not too long ago, I noticed a friend following their dream. And I felt that instant kick in the stomach. The incessant flow of questions and comments flooded in and started ringing loudly in my ears:

I will never be able to do that.

How did they achieve their dream so quickly?

I definitely do NOT have the experience.

Do they have the experience?

I don’t deserve to dream – I need to focus on surviving.

Ugh, I can NOT believe THEY did it.

They don’t have everything down perfectly yet.

And on… and on… and on. You’d think that 5 hours had passed, when it was just 5 seconds!!

But then I quickly remembered, from years of my recent training (therapy!), that I didn’t need to let this crazy feeling get the best of me. After all, life is too short to feel crappy. Am I right? Here’s what I did to say “buh bye” to my jealousy:

Feeling upside-down from jealousy?

Step 1: Show Your Jealousy Some Lovin’

Yes, I just acknowledged it was there. I embraced it. I realized we ALL feel it, even humble people like me!

Unpleasant emotions are actually designed to help us exceed, not recede into a cave. Keep on loving yourself despite this emotion. Just this first step will decrease that stomach pang alone.

Step 2: Realize Thoughts Associated with Jealousy are FALSE Beliefs

Yup, every single one of them. Usually jealousy is hiding a truth underneath it such as a want or a need that you truly desire.

Start by just turning your negative thoughts into positive thoughts (sounds totally airy fairy right?!) Just try this out, even for just one thought!

Here’s how my thought pattern got rearranged: